Being trans-gender can be tough, you might be afraid of the people in your life not accepting you or just not feeling strong enough to become your true self. Personally I felt the exact same way! I as almost all of us use to juggle these two lives, being “Boy” EJ in public, and “Real Me” Vicky in private.
At the end of last year (2015) I created my first email address under the name Vicky, I created a twitter, Facebook, Tsu, Google + and pinterest accounts under what I feel, is my real identity. I didn't feel even close to ready to come out or even to just, try and be myself in public, even just registering those social accounts under Vicky Burg I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone, but I can not be happier that I did!
I started using these animated avatars on my social account, I didn't feel comfortable enough to put my face up next to my name Vicky in such a public manner yet, but I did start following almost all LGBT groups and communities, I started really connecting to other trans people, who was going though the same things I was and others that has survived and come out the other end. I soon there after started taking selfies and sharing it privately to those trans and LGBT groups and communities. I got feedback every now and then. Getting a “like” or “+1” every now and then kind of boosted my confidence, but the comments of people asking questions, complimenting me and even inspiring me to keep on pushing through every single challenge that stood in my way was worth everything to me, and would never stop saying thank you to every one of you.
Feb this year (2016) I felt ready to use my face as the avatar of my social accounts, I'v been talking to other trans-gender people for months, and although I haven't come out in real life at that point, I started gaining enough confidence in the fact that my life should be lived as Vicky and No identity to please those around me!
Your body is really the only material thing in this universe you own the full right to control, No one more than you can control any aspect of your body, And therefor I feel that this, not even one trillionth of the universe you own, you can sculpt into a vessel that fits you perfectly.
I live in a small city, in South Africa, I have searched, Hi and Low, Online and Offline. Theirs no other trans-gender people even close to where I live, If there was, just maybe I would have been able to understand myself a bit earlier in life, having someone like me to talk to, dressing up, shopping, traveling (just all the things friends might do), and just knowing your not alone. I feel that in some way I tried to fit in all though life, and the problem was, when I walked out the front door and looked at the world around me I only sough the opposite of what I really felt like and therefor, by trying to fit into this world, I had to be the opposite of what I was meant to be.
If not for internet, if not for the developers of social media websites, and if not for those who use it to promote our lives and try and teach the world about us and how to accept us forming these small clusters in this humungous network where we all can get together and talk to each other from all over the world. If not for all these resources to learn from and get accepted in, I would still be silent, unhappy, depressed and alone EJ. I'm not sad that there's no one like me in my town to talk to anymore, because we are all at each other backing call.
Today I'm happy, and using every second I can to be more Vicky. So today I stop taking all these resources for granted and saying, THANK YOU!
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